About "A Good Friend"

Contrary to what my friends believe, writing does not come easy to me. I slave for hours just so I can produce something that doesn't look like some delirious madman's graffiti on the walls of a subway station. So as you can imagine, this little essay was the fruit of a somewhat laborious and insane amount of revision after revision. And if you've read what I've written then you can tell that it really wasn't successful (at least I don't think so). In any case, I do think that there are a few things that worked well in the essay. I was trying to connect with a general audience with my essay and its informal way of retelling perhaps helps that. I also think that by sectioning some of the paragraphs off that it allows the reader to attain an easy grasp of the piece. According to some very generous comments by two of our peers, its easy to relate to my "story" and that leaves me quite relieved (at least somebody felt that it was relevant! Success!).

However, I still think that there's a lot to be done with this piece. I feel like I should only talk about either Andrea or Maria, not both. And Liz brought up a good point about the Scrubs mention in the piece. I need to condense the intro because i don't want to make the essay seem like a piece on how TV shows are real. Basically, I need to use the Scrubs analogy properly as an intro device. I also need to work on presenting Maria and Andrea better. I feel like i haven't said enough about them (or said the right things about them) that can emulate the same things i think about when i think of them (ok i don't know if that sentence made sense but do you see where I'm getting at?)

My second essay is entirely different, I think. It's gonna be patterned essay that will actually go in a circle. I hope that works...